Playing Catch(up)

I’ve been quiet for a while so I guess I should catch up.

I have quit running and biking. Well, not so much quit as taken a hiatus. While riding my bike one afternoon I suffered from heat exhaust. Not surprising since it was 102⁰ with high humidity. The heat exhaustion lead to a migraine that lasted 6 days. I decided that I needed to put my health first and although running and biking are healthy, I will get no benefits from it if I am dead. Once the temps finally get back down to the lower 90’s, I will slowly resume working out outside. To ensure that I do not slack off, I went ahead and signed up for a 5K on October 17th. That gives me two months to get ready. It is supposed to rain all this week but be clear and low 90’s next week so hopefully I can get some time in then.

I did go jogging one night with my friend Pricilla. Well, I walked more than I jogged but I did do some jogging so I am considering it a victory! We only went about 1 ½ miles but it is more than I have done in over a month.

Just Park It

I am at Freedom Park and I just finished a few miles on my bike. As I'm sitting here on my phone I realize how disconnected we have become as a society.  Disconnected from nature, from each other, from ourselves. We can't go to a park without having a phone in our hands or ear buds in our ears. The birds are singing and the cicadas are humming but it is being drowned out by some (for lack of a better word) asshole blasting his rap music from his car. The air smells clean until I ride through a cloud of another wonderful person's cigarette smoke (which is illegal in Mecklenburg County parks). So now I will quit being a hypocrite, put down my phone, and get back on my back and back to enjoying nature.

Catching Up on Old Times

I reread a bunch of my blog posts recently  and I figured I should do an update just incase there is someone out there following this.

Last year I endured one of the most emotional experiences in my life and another situation that was one of the most physically painful. I have used these experiences to push myself and I believe I have come out the other side a better person, though scarred.
My company gave discounts for anyone that wanted to join Weight  Watchers. Three of my coworkers signed up and tried to talk me into it as well. I have never been one who believes in dieting; portion control is what I feel is best along with exercise. Dieting often leads to binging later.
It started slow, a comment here and there and eventually started coming almost daily. They would get there little "calculators" out and tell me how many points were in my food. I politely asked them to stop as I was not part of the program and I mentioned the problem to my boss. It continued for two more months. One day, when I was home on vacation, I received a picture text of a fat girl eating brownies telling me how many points were them. I lost it. Not only had I put up with this for three months at work but now they were harassing me at my house. I went to work the next day and told my boss that one more comment and I would go to HR. She got mad and told me I was being a baby that we all need to lose weight. Oh, I guess that makes it ok.
For the next month my coworkers wouldn't speak to me. Not only the ones harassing me, but my boss and several others as well. I talked to my boss' boss about it. The first thing he asked was if in wanted to go to HR because he thought I had a case. I didn't want to make things worse. All I ever wanted was for it to stop. He said he would talk to my boss about how she handled it and although she never apologized, she did state that she could see how I could take it as harassment.
Nearly 4 weeks after the shunning had begun, on August 8th, I was in a car accident. Nothing horrific, but I did suffer a broken sternum, swollen hand, and back pain. Amazing how a car accident can encourage those who are shunning you to suddenly change their attitude. My coworkers began talking to me again.
I was in therapy for a month and a half. The pain got so bad that for about 3 days I thought I would die every time I stood up. Around the three week mark I suddenly started feeling better.
The day I was released from doctor's care, October 1st,  I started working out. I would ride my exercise bike, do a 7 minute workout app on my phone, and do yoga. By December I had lost 10 pounds. I kept going, went to a nutritionalist, learned new ways to healthy up some of my favorite dishes, and bought a bike. As of today, I am down 30 pounds and my legs are solid.
Another thing I did was make a New Years resolution to be nice. I believe that most things that happen to you in life are because of decisions you have made. So I thought that maybe the harassment I endured was partially my own fault. I can be gossipy and can open myself up to coworkers as if they are friends. I had changed departments at work to get away from the negativity and I try not to talk too much to my new coworkers, rather keep them at arms length. I also try to not talk about people and this is sooooo hard but I am doing much better.
I decided also that I needed to put good karma out into the universe. I joined Habitat for Humanity as a volunteer in their coffee shop at the local restore. I figured I would do a good deed, meet new people and find a part of me that has been missing for a while, being able to be comfortable talking to strangers. I have made some friends there and have gotten out and done more things.
To recap what I am catching you up on
1. I have lost 30 pounds
2. I have made some friends so when my other friends are busy, I don't feel so upset

Something I didn't mention above, I may have met a good guy. We had our first date Saturday and went for lunch again today. Fingers crossed, I think this might actually go somewhere!

Run For Your Life Week 3

Week 3
Day 1- Today we did speed trials. They weren't really speed trials as they did not time us. They told us to run as fast as we could for about 1/8 mile and then take it easy on the way back. That lasted about the first two reps. By the third I barely made the 1/8 mile and did much more walking. By the last trip I think I walked most of it. I think if I could get my breathing under control I could go much further without having to walk. Good news is that I have energy now. Last couple of weeks I would come home and pass out. My body is getting used to the torture I am putting her through. Just six more weeks girl....we got this!

Day 2- I may have been too ambitious. I have been working out hard lately but the scale has shown no proof so I decided I needed to do a little more. I got up and did my 7 minute workout app which is definitely a full body workout! After work I went and rode several miles on my bike. I figured I was warming up my muscles and I rode on what is primarily flat land so it was in no way “intense”. Then I went to class where we were to run 1.5 miles. That turned into 1.67 miles and I did it in 23+ minutes. I was supposed to do the 2:1 run/walk ratio again but I am struggling with that. My breathing seems to be getting in the way of what my body wants to do. I need to practice breathing more. Sounds weird, right? Anyway, I ended up running about 1/3 of the trip. If I can continue making that, I will be happy. Eventually I want to get better, but right now if I can get that done without feeling like I am dying and my breathing down, I will have accomplished something. I also made sure I ran every hill we encountered. Luckily there were not many. I find it easier to run a hill than to walk it. Halfway up the last hill I thought about the last time I ran it and Darius yelling behind me “pump those arms girl!” so I started telling myself “Pump those arms! Just a little further! You can do this! YOU CAN DO THIS!” and although my mind wanted to stop running, my body made it up that hill. I made a huge mistake when I got home and did not soak in Epsom salt. My body is feeling the effects of the run today. It’s amazing how much your shoulders and back will hurt from pumping your arms. Whoda thunk?

Darius said I should get a massage that it would help with a lot of the tenderness I am feeling in my muscles. As I cannot afford to get them every week I have decided to use them as an incentive. Once I hit the half way mark, 4 ½ weeks, and again once I complete the 9 week session, I will allow myself that treat.

My trainers in Run Fit are awesome. Most days I think Darius is just trying to torture me, but he does it so enthusiastically! Sadist. I only work with him on Mondays when we do drills. Adele has been a much needed ally. I seem to have become one of her special projects and I won’t complain about that. She spends time with me every day. Sometimes she is trying to encourage me and other times I think she tries to distract me from what I am feeling with chit chat. Lauren is an “attagirl”. She yells out encouragement and high fives me for the smallest accomplishments. When I feel like I haven’t done well, she points out what I did do well. I lucked out signing up exactly when I did and getting these guys as my support system.

Homework -
This is the email Darius sent us for homework:

Good afternoon Runners!! Looks like everyone owned another week of RUN FIT!! Week 3 is in the books. My apologies form the miscalculation on Wednesday. But fortunately Amber had her Nike app running, and led everyone to the appropriate turnaround distance. Which ended up being a pretty noticeable spot. We ended going up to the CPCC culinary school. Near 7th street. I hope everyone continues to acknowledge and appreciate their progress. No matter how insignificant you may feel it is. Remember that is your OPINION, not a FACT. Facts are things that can be measured. For example, if week 1 you could barely fix dinner for yourself/family..and now you're able to run/walk 2 miles, shop, clean, cook, clean again, and have a nightcap. I'd say that's becoming stronger. Appreciate your journey. We're never in competition with anyone but our own former limitations. If nothing else, find motivation in the thought of digressing if you quit. I'm thankful to witness everyone dominating their own personal journey. And I think that everyone else that see's you, does as well. Even the one's that won't acknowledge your growth. Just keep smiling and striving to be a better you. 

HOMEWORK

WARM-UP:

               (dynamic stretching)

               Run/Walk: .4-.7mi

               Run: .7-1.1mi

WORKOUT: 

              Hill Repeats: 4-6

COOLDOWN:

                 Run/Walk:.4-.7mi

                 Run: .7-1.1mi

Have fun with your homework. A change of scenery is always good. For more than just your body, but your mental toughness as well. The more you force your body to adapt, the stronger/efficient you will become.

Darius didn't call me out in this email, but he was definitely talking about me. The part about you could barely fix dinner....yeah...that was me. We were talking about that after class the other day. I was saying that even though my running hasn't noticeably improved, that my body must be getting used to it because I don't want to just crash anymore after class.  I know he put that in here to emphasize that it really is an accomplishment.

This is not easy for me. I have never been a runner. No matter what, I'm gonna show up to class and do my best. I'm already thinking about taking this class again in the fall. When you're already the bottom, you can only go up.

Sunday- finally completed homework
I HATE DARIUS. HE IS THE ANTICHRIST.
For the warm up, I probably ran 2/3 of it. I ran 4 of the 6 hills. For the cool down, I probably walked 2/3 of it. Even after my Epsom salt bath, my calves are burning! So, the good news is that I made it through, I did better than my normal run/ walk pace, the bad news is that I am hurting and I'd be willing the the devil is going to have us running hills in class tomorrow.

Another week in the books!

Run For Your Life Weeks 1 & 2

I have begun a new adventure in my life; an incredibly scary one for me. I have taken up running.

 Let me first start by saying that I am not now, nor have I ever been, athletically inclined. I have always enjoyed getting out and biking or hiking and I always enjoyed gym class but there is nothing I am great at. I often get winded, stitches in my side and will complain of sore muscles for days.

 Lately I have seen and felt my body rapidly aging. I creak like an old staircase when I stand up or get winded just walking up a flight of stairs. I was laboring under some misapprehension that if I worked out more, I would make things worse. And although that can sometimes be the case, strengthening muscles can help alleviate some of those aches as well. For example, there is no reason for me to feel like I have the hips of a 60 year old when a few hip exercises can strengthen the tendons and take the pain and popping away.

 I had been thinking about running for well over a year now but I have always found excuses not to: it’s too hot, I don’t have proper technique, I will be the worst in the class, and on and on. Finally I had a talk with myself. I said “Super awesome self, it is ok to try something and fail. It is ok to be the worst in the class. The only thing you have to do is try. Try and finish. You can be the last one to cross the line in a 5K. All you have to do is cross that line. Who knows, you may end up loving it, or making friends in the process, but putting yourself out there is way more than most people do”.

 So I went to Run For Your Life and I signed up for a Run Fit class. It is a one hour class, two days a week for nine weeks. That’s 18 hours. When you think of it that way, it is nothing.

 Week 1-

·         Day 1-day one was supposed to be on Memorial Day. Apparently too many people said that they would not be attending so they canceled the class. They did make up for it a week later by giving us all $10 gift certificates to the store.

·         Day 2- I was nervous and excited. I had hoped they would take it easy on us being our first day. Boy was I wrong. The constant runners would run a full 5K. Those of use that were not at that point would do two miles of walk/running. That was alternating three minutes of running and one minute of walking until we finished. I think mine went more like 3:1, 2:2, 30 seconds:2 ½, just walking. I would push myself here and there; “just jog to that bridge”, “just get down the hill, now around the bend, to the stairs” and finally “up that hill”. I wasn’t the last to finish but far from the first. I felt good about that. My body wasn’t so sure. It took nearly 5 days for the pain to die completely and it was 3 before I felt well enough to try physical exercise again.

Week 2-

·         Day 1-it was drizzling and part of me was hoping the class would be canceled. A big part of me. I don’t want to quit, but if it was canceled, it would be on them, not me. Unfortunately class was not cancelled although only about ½ of us showed up. On this day, Darius, our head trainer, tried to kill me. He had us running hills.  Not steep hills, thank God, but a city block with a very slight incline that culminated in what I think was about a 5% grade. In other words, just enough to kick my ass. Did he not hear where I said that I had never run a day in my life? He tried to break me and he almost succeeded. By the second trip up the hill I was almost in tears. Thankfully, Adele, one of the other trainers saw my discouragement and stayed with me until I finished all 6 trips. She kept pushing, “just run to that car”, “just to that tree”, “we are almost at the top”, “we are catching up with the next runner”, all words I needed to hear. Other classmates started trying to encourage me too, yelling “keep it up girl”. I did not expect that. Part of me expected to be back in high school with the top girls snickering about why I would even bother. I finished those 6 trips up and down the hill with a cramp in the back of my thigh and calves that were burning. That night I stretched and soaked in an Epsom salt bath and, miraculously, did not feel too sore the next day. Maybe Darius isn’t trying to kill me after all. Maybe, just maybe, he’s pushing me to limits that I would not dare push myself. I’m not going to tell him that of course!
·         Day 2-Mentally, I was in a better place than I was on Monday. I've begun telling people what I am doing and the encouragement has been amazing. I'm sure there are those who are waiting for me to quit. I will use that as a reason not to. We were to run/walk a mile today. I don't know if Darius was just going easy on us or if it was out of fear of the sky opening up when we were far out, but either way, I was ecstatic!  The ratio today was 2:1.  I maintained more of a 1:30 to 1:30 and finished at 14:22. I am proud of myself. My calves are burning to prove I put in work. I left class today full of energy, in a great mood, and with no tears. I might actually survive this. 

Homework- yes, we have homework too. Last week I was left off the email which said to run 4 hills. Had I received it, maybe I would have been more prepared for Monday's class. This weekend's homework was interval run/walking for 1.2 miles. I think I did more like 1.5 but it was mostly walking. I'm not upset. I got out there and I tried and that is half the battle. I saw Adele and the Run Far class when I arrived at the park. Seeing her motivated me to push myself. I would hate for her to run up behind me knowing I wasn't trying my hardest. 

 

Symphony

I am broken.  Like a violin with frayed strings. You can still play the instrument,  but it doesn't sound quite right.

Piggly Wiggly

I just read an article in a magazine that said that if someone at work picks on you about your nutrition,  basically implying that you are fat, that you should not eat at work. What B.S!!!!!! Why is it socially acceptable for people to discriminate against overweight people? And why do people act like it is the victim of the discrimination's fault?  Sometimes, some well meaning but completely ignorant people will offer advice to lose weight. Here's some advice...mind your damn business!

Online Dating

I've been told numerous times that I should write about my online dating experiences.  I have had some good dates and some bad.

There was the guy who brought me dead flowers. Not dried flowers but brown and wilted.

There was the guy who only had pictures of himself wearing sunglasses.  I quickly discovered that he was severely cross eyed.

There was the gorgeous guy who never smiled in his pictures.  I guess if I were missing all of my lower teeth I wouldn't smile either.

There was the guy who told me he wanted to see me but he thought we should have sex first to see if we were compatible. 

Those are some of the more fun ones to talk about.  I think I will start blogging about my dates. Maybe it will help me gain insight into what I am doing wrong. Or, if nothing else, it will be funny to read again down the road.

Used Car Salesman

Are you looking for a used car? If so, you might flip through the Auto Finder magazine.

You glance at hundreds of pictures until one catches your eye. Checking out the details to decide if it is a fit: manual, stick, power windows,  etc. Then you read the description.  Has it been driven much? Was the driver a smoker? Does it pull to the right?

Are you looking for someone to date? If so, you might choose to check out a dating website. 

You glance at hundreds of pictures until one catches your eye. Checking out the details to decide if it is a fit: is he tall, fit, smoker,  got 9 kids, etc.  Then you read the description.  Is he a nerd? Bad boy? Go out all the time or a homebody? 

That's about how dating websites feel. You are selling your self as a used car. It has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Meet people you would not otherwise
Gather information about them (as provided by them) to determine if a good fit
Weed people out that you do not feel are a good fit before you waste time or money meeting them
You don't have to meet in person until you are comfortable

Cons:
You must advertise yourself which can be very difficult
You lose the ability to win a stranger over with your quick wit
Some people may want to talk forever and never actually meet

Let's talk free vs. sites you pay for. Free sites have all sorts of people on there looking. They could be looking for a wife or just a hook up. Pay sites are typically going to be people who want a relationship.  They want it,  and they are willing to pay to find it. Unfortunately,  anyone can set up a profile on most pay sites. Meaning they set up a profile but now you cannot communicate with them. You have to decide what you are willing to go through to find what you are looking for.

Gift From God

Why is it that people want to call every baby a gift from God? If that were true, why have so many women and babies died during childbirth? Is their gift death?

The March of Dimes recommends that women over 35 not conceive.  The odds of a miscarriage, birth defects, and complications increase dramatically. 

My coworker is 37. She has 2 children by two men and never been married. She has claimed to have been pregnant twice more by two more men since I've known her but lost both babies. Her alleged medical conditions are extensive.  I use the word "alleged" because her stories have been known to contradict. Cervical cancer, not once, but twice. Heart condituon, thyroid disorder,  hypoglycemic,  and many, many other issues that randomly pop up then go away.

Now she is engaged to yet another man and pregnant with his kid. One of my other coworkers called it "divine intervention". Are you kidding me? The odds of her carrying this baby safely to term are slim. Is that a gift from God or just irresponsibility on her part?  We will find out in March, if not before. Until then, all we can do is hope for the best.

Dream a Little Dream

Weirdest. Dream. Ever.

I’m in the living room with my daughter and her friend Josh comes in and sits down. I get up and realize that I do not have a shirt on and her friend is looking. I go to my room to get a shirt and lay down instead. Then I hear Keirsten say that someone is here to see me. I look out into the hall in time to see a man in a robe, similar to a monk’s, walking down the hall from the back of the house. At that same moment I can see in my peripheral a blob floating in air in the corner of my bedroom and it is making a noise. Instantly I knew the blob is a demon. At this point I am scared and my body recognizes that I am having a nightmare. I try to wake up. My eyes open a crack and I can see the faint light of the nightlight in the hall. I can feel my dog curled up at the foot of the bed. I can hear the cat meowing on the floor. I can also still hear the blob in the corner. I make a groaning sound and it mimics me. I start thinking “Keirsten will get up in a minute and help me. Oh no. It’s Monday and Keirsten doesn’t have school today”. I start trying to yell “HELP!” so that hopefully Keirsten will hear and come help me but the words only came out as a mumble. Again the blob mimics me. I am so scared and yet I feel like my body weighs a thousand pounds and my eyes will not fully open. Next thing I know, my dog is licking my face and I am fully awake. He never licks my face when I’m sleeping. I’m not sure if he sensed that I needed help, if I was truly talking in my sleep, or if there was a demon in my room. What I do know is that I was shaking, sweating, and heart pounding. I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.

 

Finance 101

 

Finance 101

I’ve talked a bit about my future plans including traveling and that part of that would require me to get my debts in line. For several months now I have been documenting where my money goes. It’s amazing how quickly you can blow $200 and not realize it because you spend it in small increments. Overall, I would give myself a solid B+ on my spending habits. I always make sure the bills are paid first, I have been putting money into savings, and I have been working towards paying down my credit cards.

Getting the Ball Rolling

On 6/6 I decided to run my credit report. You can get a copy free every year from the three major credit reporting agencies. I went through Trans Union to pull my report. I found several things that raised flags. They had a personal address for me listed on a road I have never lived on, a lien from the state of South Carolina that was listed twice, and two collection agencies reporting past due balances.  I submitted a request for a review on these items and within three business days I had results. The request was super simple, just click a few buttons and hit send.

The address was deleted from my report. One of the collection agencies was deleted and the other was marked as paid in full. It’s still on there, but at least it looks better. Both of the collection agency stuff was over two years old. They had just neglected to report it once it was paid off.

The liens are another story. In 2006 I worked just over the SC border in Rock Hill for a few months. The company took SC income tax out of my check per the law. I worked most of the year in NC. When it came time to file taxes I had to file for both states even though I only lived in one. My SC W2 was unclear and had all state taxes paid (NC &SC) listed but only the NC tax paid listed on my NC W2. So when I filed in SC I put down that they owed me the wrong amount and they paid me. Three years later they came back for their money and some hefty fines. I worked with their office and negotiated with them to drop the $700+ interest. I did have to pay a $400 fee which brought my total to $2150. I borrowed the money from my aunt and paid it in full.

While I was in the process of negotiating the interest, I received a phone call from another office in the same department stating that they had taken a lien out on my house. I told the guy I had been working with and he said not to worry about it, that they had not taken out the lien because I was working with him. A few years later I find out it is on my credit report not once, but twice.

Trans Union did delete one instance of the lien but the other remains. I will now have to get with SC department of revenue to get this resolved. I tried to email them but the email link on their website takes me to a page that is “not found”. I will have to call or make a trip to South Carolina. Joy.

 

 

The good news is that all of the things I removed should have raised my score some. Of course you have to pay for your score and I am not at a point where I need it just yet so I am waiting to go that route.

The Next Step

I did some research on loans from my current bank. IF I can get a loan in the amount of $16,500 at 8% interest, I would be able to pay off my car and three credit cards. I could pay the loan off in 36 months at $550/mo which is a little less than I am paying now. I would save about $5,600 in interest. All of this is assuming that I am able to get this loan. If I can though, not only would I save money, but I would be perfectly in line with my 3 year plan of having everything paid off.

Credit Cards

I keep getting offers from Capital One, who I have one of my current cards with, about being pre-approved for a cash back card. I have been just trashing these offers for about a year now. My research on finances recently, however, has led me to believe that maybe I have been too hasty. One of the cards they keep offering me has about the same interest as my current card with no annual fee. I read that you should get reward cards and then use them instead of your bank account to pay for everything. Then you use your bank account to pay the card off in full every month. You reap the rewards without any of the penalties like interest. My credit is not good enough for a mileage card yet but when it is, you better believe I will be taking full advantage of that!

 

 

It is absolutely amazing what you can learn by reading a few blog posts. Of course I followed up with my own research and now I am heading towards financial freedom. No bankruptcy, no credit counselors, just smart decisions to fix past issues and to help me with my future investments.

 

(Not) Aging Gracefully

(Not) Aging Gracefully
 

When you are a kid, birthdays are super exciting. You spend a whole year counting down to that one glorious day where you are king or queen. Birthdays weren’t huge ordeals in my house. I remember having a few parties but being a single mother of 2, my mom could not afford to treat us to such things. Usually we got a cake, a present, and our favorite meal. I’m a simple girl and that was fine by me. My favorite food and a cake? I was living large!

 

Time hasn’t changed many of the customs in my home, just the people. Now my daughter is the one making the cake and the food is usually bought by me at a restaurant of my choosing. Often times my coworkers would do a little something for me which would include a cake and card and singing if I was lucky (or unlucky depending on who was doing the singing).

 

December 10, 2013 marked my 37thbirthday and with it came unexpected feelings. For the first time in my life I realized I was getting older and no closer to finding the love of my life. I have gained a lot of weight in my adult life, looks have begun fading, and my typical cheery attitude towards life is not so cheery anymore. I have less and less to offer as time goes by and fewer prospects to chose from. The thought of growing old all alone is a scary one. Some people have the audacity to say “just be patient”. I’ve spent almost half of my life looking for Mr. Right. At what point is it acceptable to no longer be patient? At what point do you say “screw it” and quit thinking about how nice it would be to be with someone and start thinking about all the things you can do solo? I think I am close to that point now and I am trying to plan things out based on me being alone. I hope that I will not always have to be alone, but I am going to try and make the most of it.

Cruisin

244 days until we set sail.

Two years ago Keirsten and I took our first "real" vacation. I mean, we didn't just go crash at a family member's house. We took a weekend trip to Atlanta and stayed at an awesome little hotel that was old, had mismatched furniture and cool architectural details. It was in a happening neighborhood that had artsy shops,  a bakery, an art gallery, the kind of theatre you would see Rocky Horror at, and some local owned restaurants.  We went to the Georgia Aquarium and did some sight seeing. It was great but pretty expensive being that it was only a weekend trip.

Last year we split a week between Savannah and Charleston.  We went parasailing,  on a dolphin tour (which featured a National Geographic moment), went on a horse drawn history tour, toured the battleship, ghost tour, ate at Paula Dean's restaurant, toured a botanical garden, toured both towns independently,  shopped and ate at local restaurants. We had a great time and learned a bit of history too.

We decided for our next vacation that we wanted to go on a cruise. Not a cheap vacation so we are going to save up through all of 2014. To date I have already paid for the cruise. Now I have to get passports,  buy excursions, and save up spending money. We are going on a 5 night Caribbean Cruise to Nassau and Freeport in the Bahamas. We don't depart until February 2, 2015 but I am already getting excited. 

244 days until we set sail!!!

The Travel Bug

The travel bug has finally got me. If the world is our playground,  why hang out on the merry-go-round all the time?

Here are the facts: I am 37, single, mother of an almost 21 year old, make $40k+ a year, own my home, about $6k in debt not including my car and home.

My plans: pay off debt, travel, and eventually move far, far away.

The debt is an ongoing process.  My ailing cat has cost me nearly $2k in the last couple of months (yes, he is worth it!). I try to pay over my minimum amount every month. And if extra money comes in, that's what is goes towards. Today I got a check from Duke Power for $230. I immediately deposited it then went online and paid $230 on a credit card.

Travel is something I have to plan and save for. There is not a lot of extra money laying around. I put myself on a budget and in just a few months I saved over $700. I could tighten my belt a little more but I don't want to make myself miserable now just to be able to do something later.

I have been reading Nomadic Matt's blog and it has been eye opeing. It has taught me so much about travel that I never would have thought of. Between the benefits of sky miles to sleeping arrangements to food to money, it has been educational. I find myself on his blog nearly every day and will probably buy his book.

I am hoping that once I travel a bit and see more of the world than just my merry-go-round,  I will find an amazing place that speaks to me and I can settle down.  Time will tell!

The Sound of Silence

I am sitting outside my job in a fold up chair enjoying the weather. My partner in crime in on vacation this week so I am alone.

Then, something dawns on me. I am perfectly content sitting here by myself. There is a slight breeze, temps are in the 70s,  I can see and hear the planes taking off and landing at the airport, there is a cute guy mowing the grass, and trucks are coming and going. I don't need anyone to entertain me. I am enjoying all the sights and sounds even if they aren't the most beautiful. 

There are times when I don't turn on the TV or music and I just sit and think or take in my surroundings. This idea scares a lot of people.  Could be the fear of being alone.  Could be they would only hear the echo of emptiness that is their mind.

I feel bad for people that can't stand to be alone. Some people can't even go in the grocery store without having someone talk to them on the phone.  When I worked in a restaurant you would see them by themselves in the dining room on their cell phones. I am thankful that I am not one of those people.

Uncle Traveling Matt

The Great Escape

For almost two years now I have been planning my escape. Planning on moving to Nebraska, or the Caribbean,  or anywhere. I want to live a more uninhibited lifestyle that allows me to enjoy life and hopefully make friends and (possibly) find a husband in the process.

Charlotte is big. It can take 30 minutes to get across town and that is if there is no traffic. There is always traffic. With traffic and big industry comes smog. When it is hot and you look towards the sky scrapers you see that they appear hazy. Ahhh....smog. I am breathing that in. There is a lot to do in Charlotte.  Most things cost a decent amount and the things that don't aren't well advertised hence the low cost. I have lived beside the same neighbors for 10 years now and don't even know their names. 

I work 40 hours a week. I come home, cook dinner, and watch TV.  On weekends I might venture to a park or the Farmer's Market but I honestly don't do much. Life is bland and I work hard to maintain that bland life.

Longmire

I love the show Longmire.  It is set in Wyoming in a little small town that doesn't even have a stop light. Everybody knows everybody and the landscape is beautiful. This interested me. I began collecting visitors guides from the area and started researching.

Editors note: One of the quirky things about me is that I often listen to my gut. I get "feelings" about people, places, things,  and situations that are very rarely wrong. If I allowed my gut to overrule what others say,  I would be much happier.  I am also big into research.  The Web has made it so easy with just a few keystrokes. Everything is out there. You just have to learn to tell the fact from the fluff.

First I fell in love with Montanna. It is absolutely breathtaking!  But it is also cold, has a nonexistent job market and a super high cost of living. Next!

I looked at Wyoming.  It is home to part of Yellowstone.  And that sums up what really attracted me to it.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I looked at one picture of Nebraska and I felt electricity run through me. So the research began.

Nebraska

Nebraska has a decent job market. I also checked and found that my current employer has a big plant in one of the smaller towns. The town of Scottsbluff has about 15,000 residents, a low cost of living, many parks in close proximity,  shopping areas, and many chain restaurants I am familiar with. Crime is relatively low and most is vandalism (that seems to be the theme of smaller towns but it beats the violent crime rates of Charlotte). The arts scene is far more limited and may only include whatever performance the local high school is putting on but it's not like I spend all my time in the theatre now.

House Hunters

I love House Hunters and House Hunters International.  I enjoy seeing how other people live, common expectations,  realities of real estate, and what drives people's decisions in house buying.

House Hunters is based in the USA. I often say that I don't think like others and I belive that this show proves it. Lots of square footage, huge master suites with giant bathrooms and fully updated kitchens. The bigger your house is the more you have to clean. I think I could be happy with about 500sf. Most apartments are bigger than that. What's with the huge bedrooms and bathrooms? Other than sleep and, if your lucky, sex, how much time do you spend in your bedroom? I get wanting a double sink of your significant other gets ready at the same time you do every day. My ex's master bath was bigger than the two guest bedrooms. Ridiculous.  I would love an updated kitchen. I like to cook so it would be functional. 

House Hunters International is everywhere but here. Most other cultures appreciate smaller dwellings. They don't appear to be as materialistic.  I belive I could thrive in an area that A) speaks English B) has a more laid back atmosphere C) does not have a high cost of living and D) is in close proximity to groceries, restaurants,  and a park, lake or beach. I have no idea where this ideal location is so the research is ongoing.

To work in search of life

I have come to a decision.  Although I don't have a clue where I want to settle down, I do know that I don't want to just sit here anymore. I work too hard to have nothing to show for it. So I have come up with a plan.

The Great Master Plan

Pay off credit cards. This is easier said than done. I curretnly owe about $7,000. I don't have a lot of money left after the bills are paid and my cat's diabetes has put me $1000 in the hole. Not to mention his ongoing treatments. So the key here will be to cut expenses. I am going to write up a budget that is doable and stick to it.

Wait for my children to move on. My daughter is currently 20 and in no way ready to support herself. I am trying to push her to get that way. I have three animals that are my babies. The cats are 12 1/2 and 10 and the dog is 7 1/2. I have no desire to get rid of them. But as they are all relatively old, they will be passing on in the next few years. That will save me some expense (especially with the diabetic) but also free me up to not have to worry about finding pet friendly places. It also affords me time to do lots of reaearch, pay off those credit cards, and get things in order.

Find a job that allows me to explore new places while living relatively cheap. Research only gets you so far. You have to experience a place.  Cruise ships and resorts are great ways to do this as your room and board is often free. Many national parks also offer discounted prices to workers in the park. I have also found websites that can help find jobs abroad that cover most or all expenses. Again, research here will be crucial!

Getting the Support You Need

You tell your friends and family your ideas and they try to talk you out of it. They try to convince you that staying in a place you hate is the best thing for you.

I have had people try to talk me into moving to places I have no desire going just because they think that would be best. Well maybe it would be best for them. You go live your dream and I will live mine.

I am amazed at how selfish my own family is. Not just no support,  but negative support. I suppose part of it is because they will miss me but I believe a majority of it is fear of the unknown. To them I say...get over it. If you want me to find the happiness I deserve allow me to go. I may find that happiness was here all along and I just couldn't see it but without me taking the plunge I will never know.

Uncle Traveling Matt

Most kids who grew up in the 80's will recognize the reference.  Uncle Traveling Matt was a character on Fraggle Rock. He would travel around the world and send postcards to his nephew telling of his adventures. He saw far off places through the eyes of a Fraggle.  It's was educational and amusing.

Hump Day

Yup. That about sums it up.

Random Thought

I think one of the biggest problems in America is that we help each other too much. In this kind of civilization, when you continually help other people, you create a group of people who no longer want to help themselves.

All that glitters is gold

Today has been a good day.

It started with a trip to the vet. Geno weighed in at 1/2 pound more than he did three weeks ago. That is a lot of weight for a cat! And to top that, his blood sugar tested at 137. A big drop from the 470 it was last time. The vet said she has never had a cat on such a high dosage or one that took so long to regulate. We are both just thrilled that he is good to go now.

At lunch my pasta maker was delivered.  Happiness in a box!

I went to Walmart after work to pick up a pasta pot. I got an 8 quart on for $6. I stumbled across a set of 5 ramekins with lids for $24. A great price! So you can imagine my excitement when it rang up for only $15! Bad news is that silly me forgot the flour so I couldn't make pasta for dinner. I didn't really have time as I got home late so I am not terribly disappointed. 

Hit 90 today. Felt so good outside! Kept my windows down so my hair could blow.