Symphony

I am broken.  Like a violin with frayed strings. You can still play the instrument,  but it doesn't sound quite right.

Piggly Wiggly

I just read an article in a magazine that said that if someone at work picks on you about your nutrition,  basically implying that you are fat, that you should not eat at work. What B.S!!!!!! Why is it socially acceptable for people to discriminate against overweight people? And why do people act like it is the victim of the discrimination's fault?  Sometimes, some well meaning but completely ignorant people will offer advice to lose weight. Here's some advice...mind your damn business!

Online Dating

I've been told numerous times that I should write about my online dating experiences.  I have had some good dates and some bad.

There was the guy who brought me dead flowers. Not dried flowers but brown and wilted.

There was the guy who only had pictures of himself wearing sunglasses.  I quickly discovered that he was severely cross eyed.

There was the gorgeous guy who never smiled in his pictures.  I guess if I were missing all of my lower teeth I wouldn't smile either.

There was the guy who told me he wanted to see me but he thought we should have sex first to see if we were compatible. 

Those are some of the more fun ones to talk about.  I think I will start blogging about my dates. Maybe it will help me gain insight into what I am doing wrong. Or, if nothing else, it will be funny to read again down the road.

Used Car Salesman

Are you looking for a used car? If so, you might flip through the Auto Finder magazine.

You glance at hundreds of pictures until one catches your eye. Checking out the details to decide if it is a fit: manual, stick, power windows,  etc. Then you read the description.  Has it been driven much? Was the driver a smoker? Does it pull to the right?

Are you looking for someone to date? If so, you might choose to check out a dating website. 

You glance at hundreds of pictures until one catches your eye. Checking out the details to decide if it is a fit: is he tall, fit, smoker,  got 9 kids, etc.  Then you read the description.  Is he a nerd? Bad boy? Go out all the time or a homebody? 

That's about how dating websites feel. You are selling your self as a used car. It has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Meet people you would not otherwise
Gather information about them (as provided by them) to determine if a good fit
Weed people out that you do not feel are a good fit before you waste time or money meeting them
You don't have to meet in person until you are comfortable

Cons:
You must advertise yourself which can be very difficult
You lose the ability to win a stranger over with your quick wit
Some people may want to talk forever and never actually meet

Let's talk free vs. sites you pay for. Free sites have all sorts of people on there looking. They could be looking for a wife or just a hook up. Pay sites are typically going to be people who want a relationship.  They want it,  and they are willing to pay to find it. Unfortunately,  anyone can set up a profile on most pay sites. Meaning they set up a profile but now you cannot communicate with them. You have to decide what you are willing to go through to find what you are looking for.

Gift From God

Why is it that people want to call every baby a gift from God? If that were true, why have so many women and babies died during childbirth? Is their gift death?

The March of Dimes recommends that women over 35 not conceive.  The odds of a miscarriage, birth defects, and complications increase dramatically. 

My coworker is 37. She has 2 children by two men and never been married. She has claimed to have been pregnant twice more by two more men since I've known her but lost both babies. Her alleged medical conditions are extensive.  I use the word "alleged" because her stories have been known to contradict. Cervical cancer, not once, but twice. Heart condituon, thyroid disorder,  hypoglycemic,  and many, many other issues that randomly pop up then go away.

Now she is engaged to yet another man and pregnant with his kid. One of my other coworkers called it "divine intervention". Are you kidding me? The odds of her carrying this baby safely to term are slim. Is that a gift from God or just irresponsibility on her part?  We will find out in March, if not before. Until then, all we can do is hope for the best.

Dream a Little Dream

Weirdest. Dream. Ever.

I’m in the living room with my daughter and her friend Josh comes in and sits down. I get up and realize that I do not have a shirt on and her friend is looking. I go to my room to get a shirt and lay down instead. Then I hear Keirsten say that someone is here to see me. I look out into the hall in time to see a man in a robe, similar to a monk’s, walking down the hall from the back of the house. At that same moment I can see in my peripheral a blob floating in air in the corner of my bedroom and it is making a noise. Instantly I knew the blob is a demon. At this point I am scared and my body recognizes that I am having a nightmare. I try to wake up. My eyes open a crack and I can see the faint light of the nightlight in the hall. I can feel my dog curled up at the foot of the bed. I can hear the cat meowing on the floor. I can also still hear the blob in the corner. I make a groaning sound and it mimics me. I start thinking “Keirsten will get up in a minute and help me. Oh no. It’s Monday and Keirsten doesn’t have school today”. I start trying to yell “HELP!” so that hopefully Keirsten will hear and come help me but the words only came out as a mumble. Again the blob mimics me. I am so scared and yet I feel like my body weighs a thousand pounds and my eyes will not fully open. Next thing I know, my dog is licking my face and I am fully awake. He never licks my face when I’m sleeping. I’m not sure if he sensed that I needed help, if I was truly talking in my sleep, or if there was a demon in my room. What I do know is that I was shaking, sweating, and heart pounding. I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.

 

Finance 101

 

Finance 101

I’ve talked a bit about my future plans including traveling and that part of that would require me to get my debts in line. For several months now I have been documenting where my money goes. It’s amazing how quickly you can blow $200 and not realize it because you spend it in small increments. Overall, I would give myself a solid B+ on my spending habits. I always make sure the bills are paid first, I have been putting money into savings, and I have been working towards paying down my credit cards.

Getting the Ball Rolling

On 6/6 I decided to run my credit report. You can get a copy free every year from the three major credit reporting agencies. I went through Trans Union to pull my report. I found several things that raised flags. They had a personal address for me listed on a road I have never lived on, a lien from the state of South Carolina that was listed twice, and two collection agencies reporting past due balances.  I submitted a request for a review on these items and within three business days I had results. The request was super simple, just click a few buttons and hit send.

The address was deleted from my report. One of the collection agencies was deleted and the other was marked as paid in full. It’s still on there, but at least it looks better. Both of the collection agency stuff was over two years old. They had just neglected to report it once it was paid off.

The liens are another story. In 2006 I worked just over the SC border in Rock Hill for a few months. The company took SC income tax out of my check per the law. I worked most of the year in NC. When it came time to file taxes I had to file for both states even though I only lived in one. My SC W2 was unclear and had all state taxes paid (NC &SC) listed but only the NC tax paid listed on my NC W2. So when I filed in SC I put down that they owed me the wrong amount and they paid me. Three years later they came back for their money and some hefty fines. I worked with their office and negotiated with them to drop the $700+ interest. I did have to pay a $400 fee which brought my total to $2150. I borrowed the money from my aunt and paid it in full.

While I was in the process of negotiating the interest, I received a phone call from another office in the same department stating that they had taken a lien out on my house. I told the guy I had been working with and he said not to worry about it, that they had not taken out the lien because I was working with him. A few years later I find out it is on my credit report not once, but twice.

Trans Union did delete one instance of the lien but the other remains. I will now have to get with SC department of revenue to get this resolved. I tried to email them but the email link on their website takes me to a page that is “not found”. I will have to call or make a trip to South Carolina. Joy.

 

 

The good news is that all of the things I removed should have raised my score some. Of course you have to pay for your score and I am not at a point where I need it just yet so I am waiting to go that route.

The Next Step

I did some research on loans from my current bank. IF I can get a loan in the amount of $16,500 at 8% interest, I would be able to pay off my car and three credit cards. I could pay the loan off in 36 months at $550/mo which is a little less than I am paying now. I would save about $5,600 in interest. All of this is assuming that I am able to get this loan. If I can though, not only would I save money, but I would be perfectly in line with my 3 year plan of having everything paid off.

Credit Cards

I keep getting offers from Capital One, who I have one of my current cards with, about being pre-approved for a cash back card. I have been just trashing these offers for about a year now. My research on finances recently, however, has led me to believe that maybe I have been too hasty. One of the cards they keep offering me has about the same interest as my current card with no annual fee. I read that you should get reward cards and then use them instead of your bank account to pay for everything. Then you use your bank account to pay the card off in full every month. You reap the rewards without any of the penalties like interest. My credit is not good enough for a mileage card yet but when it is, you better believe I will be taking full advantage of that!

 

 

It is absolutely amazing what you can learn by reading a few blog posts. Of course I followed up with my own research and now I am heading towards financial freedom. No bankruptcy, no credit counselors, just smart decisions to fix past issues and to help me with my future investments.