Saturday Blues

" Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way"

I hadn't blogged in a long time. Lately I really feel like I need an outlet to get everything out of my head. One thing you will see about me is that I often say exactly what I'm thinking. It's not always pretty, it can hurt people's feelings, but it is always what I think. It is the truth to me. I don't believe in being "private" or wearing a mask that only a select few are allowed to see behind. I am very open. That may scare some people but if you are in my life you will know exactly who I am. You will see inside of me without a lot of digging. I am NOT fake.

I've been a bit depressed lately. Well lately is more like a year. And depressed is more like I'm angry because I wake up every morning. I wish I would just go to sleep and stay that way. But alas, life goes on, & I am still part of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm just tired of living a life that doesn't seem to hold much happiness. I've heard you have to make your own happiness. Does anyone have a recipe for that?

My cat Geno has been diagnosed with diabetes. He's been in treatment for about 2 months now and unfortunately, he does not seem to be responding to insulin injections. He goes back to the vet on Monday. Hopefully they have some good news for us or some other treatment option. Otherwise I'll continue to watch my cat deteriorate. It is breaking my heart.

On a good note... I am excited that I have a bread maker and pasta machine on its way from Amazon. Should be here next week. Bread and pasta are two of my favorite things. I went to the used bookstore last night to look for a recipe book. I found a wonderful  one on pasta which I am going through and marking all the recipes I would like to try. I also hit the lottery when I found a book about space and a cool picture book by Stephen King about gargoyles. Who knew?

Tomorrow is Star Wars day. I am shocked I cannot find any marathons on television. I am respectfully however, wearing my C3PO shirt right now.

I think I need better friends. Maybe not better ... Maybe just ones who have more time. Two of my closest friends work nights so they're never available. And the other one, Chris, seem to do a lot of stuff with her family. Nothing wrong with that, but I get a little lonely. I think I need more friends. Ones that I can do things with and go places with. I'm not one who has a lot of friends, but a few very close friends.  So it can be difficult when they aren't available.

Until next time