(Not) Aging Gracefully

(Not) Aging Gracefully
 

When you are a kid, birthdays are super exciting. You spend a whole year counting down to that one glorious day where you are king or queen. Birthdays weren’t huge ordeals in my house. I remember having a few parties but being a single mother of 2, my mom could not afford to treat us to such things. Usually we got a cake, a present, and our favorite meal. I’m a simple girl and that was fine by me. My favorite food and a cake? I was living large!

 

Time hasn’t changed many of the customs in my home, just the people. Now my daughter is the one making the cake and the food is usually bought by me at a restaurant of my choosing. Often times my coworkers would do a little something for me which would include a cake and card and singing if I was lucky (or unlucky depending on who was doing the singing).

 

December 10, 2013 marked my 37thbirthday and with it came unexpected feelings. For the first time in my life I realized I was getting older and no closer to finding the love of my life. I have gained a lot of weight in my adult life, looks have begun fading, and my typical cheery attitude towards life is not so cheery anymore. I have less and less to offer as time goes by and fewer prospects to chose from. The thought of growing old all alone is a scary one. Some people have the audacity to say “just be patient”. I’ve spent almost half of my life looking for Mr. Right. At what point is it acceptable to no longer be patient? At what point do you say “screw it” and quit thinking about how nice it would be to be with someone and start thinking about all the things you can do solo? I think I am close to that point now and I am trying to plan things out based on me being alone. I hope that I will not always have to be alone, but I am going to try and make the most of it.