3-8-11

Randomness

The truth is, that no matter how hard I try, I can’t help but yearn for the happiness I felt when I was younger, at least, the perceived happiness. When I look back, I tend to forget all the bad things I went through. I forget about the stress of not being able to pay my rent, forget about the heartbreaks, and forget about the bad jobs. Rainbows and happiness are all I can find in the past. Yet, when I reach out to touch those memories, they turn into thick black smoke that eventually disappears as if they were never real.

Why do people say “I don’t like making plans”? Wouldn’t it be easier to tell the truth? All you have to say is “I really want to see if something better comes along before I commit to you”. The irony is that if you go on FaceBook, they will have all sorts of plans listed in their status updates.

A few months ago I had been seeing a guy. Things were going great until he stopped making time to hang out. I can take a hint so I backed off. For some reason unbeknownst to me, he refuses to let me go. He was the one that would never make time for me but now he wants to email and text me all the time. One evening at 9pm he calls and asks if I will meet up with him right then. I politely said no, that I have to be up at 5:40am so I was going to bed. He gets huffy and says “you said you wanted me to make time for you”. Oh, I’m sorry. I guess what I should have said was “make time for me at a time that will be convenient for both of us, not just you”.  Today, I have three texts from this fool telling me how much he misses me. I can’t imagine that I am asking for a lot by asking for him to make time to see me. he only works four days a week and we live ten minutes from each other. I figure that if he were truly interested, I wouldn’t have to ask. He would want to make time on his own.

Why do people ask why I’m still single? You could go ahead and say “what’s wrong with you”. That might work just as well. Honestly people! If I knew, I would try to fix it! it’s not like I sit around thinking of ways to keep the boys from wanting to come around.