Symphony

I am broken.  Like a violin with frayed strings. You can still play the instrument,  but it doesn't sound quite right.

Piggly Wiggly

I just read an article in a magazine that said that if someone at work picks on you about your nutrition,  basically implying that you are fat, that you should not eat at work. What B.S!!!!!! Why is it socially acceptable for people to discriminate against overweight people? And why do people act like it is the victim of the discrimination's fault?  Sometimes, some well meaning but completely ignorant people will offer advice to lose weight. Here's some advice...mind your damn business!

Online Dating

I've been told numerous times that I should write about my online dating experiences.  I have had some good dates and some bad.

There was the guy who brought me dead flowers. Not dried flowers but brown and wilted.

There was the guy who only had pictures of himself wearing sunglasses.  I quickly discovered that he was severely cross eyed.

There was the gorgeous guy who never smiled in his pictures.  I guess if I were missing all of my lower teeth I wouldn't smile either.

There was the guy who told me he wanted to see me but he thought we should have sex first to see if we were compatible. 

Those are some of the more fun ones to talk about.  I think I will start blogging about my dates. Maybe it will help me gain insight into what I am doing wrong. Or, if nothing else, it will be funny to read again down the road.

Used Car Salesman

Are you looking for a used car? If so, you might flip through the Auto Finder magazine.

You glance at hundreds of pictures until one catches your eye. Checking out the details to decide if it is a fit: manual, stick, power windows,  etc. Then you read the description.  Has it been driven much? Was the driver a smoker? Does it pull to the right?

Are you looking for someone to date? If so, you might choose to check out a dating website. 

You glance at hundreds of pictures until one catches your eye. Checking out the details to decide if it is a fit: is he tall, fit, smoker,  got 9 kids, etc.  Then you read the description.  Is he a nerd? Bad boy? Go out all the time or a homebody? 

That's about how dating websites feel. You are selling your self as a used car. It has its pros and cons.

Pros:
Meet people you would not otherwise
Gather information about them (as provided by them) to determine if a good fit
Weed people out that you do not feel are a good fit before you waste time or money meeting them
You don't have to meet in person until you are comfortable

Cons:
You must advertise yourself which can be very difficult
You lose the ability to win a stranger over with your quick wit
Some people may want to talk forever and never actually meet

Let's talk free vs. sites you pay for. Free sites have all sorts of people on there looking. They could be looking for a wife or just a hook up. Pay sites are typically going to be people who want a relationship.  They want it,  and they are willing to pay to find it. Unfortunately,  anyone can set up a profile on most pay sites. Meaning they set up a profile but now you cannot communicate with them. You have to decide what you are willing to go through to find what you are looking for.

Gift From God

Why is it that people want to call every baby a gift from God? If that were true, why have so many women and babies died during childbirth? Is their gift death?

The March of Dimes recommends that women over 35 not conceive.  The odds of a miscarriage, birth defects, and complications increase dramatically. 

My coworker is 37. She has 2 children by two men and never been married. She has claimed to have been pregnant twice more by two more men since I've known her but lost both babies. Her alleged medical conditions are extensive.  I use the word "alleged" because her stories have been known to contradict. Cervical cancer, not once, but twice. Heart condituon, thyroid disorder,  hypoglycemic,  and many, many other issues that randomly pop up then go away.

Now she is engaged to yet another man and pregnant with his kid. One of my other coworkers called it "divine intervention". Are you kidding me? The odds of her carrying this baby safely to term are slim. Is that a gift from God or just irresponsibility on her part?  We will find out in March, if not before. Until then, all we can do is hope for the best.

Dream a Little Dream

Weirdest. Dream. Ever.

I’m in the living room with my daughter and her friend Josh comes in and sits down. I get up and realize that I do not have a shirt on and her friend is looking. I go to my room to get a shirt and lay down instead. Then I hear Keirsten say that someone is here to see me. I look out into the hall in time to see a man in a robe, similar to a monk’s, walking down the hall from the back of the house. At that same moment I can see in my peripheral a blob floating in air in the corner of my bedroom and it is making a noise. Instantly I knew the blob is a demon. At this point I am scared and my body recognizes that I am having a nightmare. I try to wake up. My eyes open a crack and I can see the faint light of the nightlight in the hall. I can feel my dog curled up at the foot of the bed. I can hear the cat meowing on the floor. I can also still hear the blob in the corner. I make a groaning sound and it mimics me. I start thinking “Keirsten will get up in a minute and help me. Oh no. It’s Monday and Keirsten doesn’t have school today”. I start trying to yell “HELP!” so that hopefully Keirsten will hear and come help me but the words only came out as a mumble. Again the blob mimics me. I am so scared and yet I feel like my body weighs a thousand pounds and my eyes will not fully open. Next thing I know, my dog is licking my face and I am fully awake. He never licks my face when I’m sleeping. I’m not sure if he sensed that I needed help, if I was truly talking in my sleep, or if there was a demon in my room. What I do know is that I was shaking, sweating, and heart pounding. I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.

 

Finance 101

 

Finance 101

I’ve talked a bit about my future plans including traveling and that part of that would require me to get my debts in line. For several months now I have been documenting where my money goes. It’s amazing how quickly you can blow $200 and not realize it because you spend it in small increments. Overall, I would give myself a solid B+ on my spending habits. I always make sure the bills are paid first, I have been putting money into savings, and I have been working towards paying down my credit cards.

Getting the Ball Rolling

On 6/6 I decided to run my credit report. You can get a copy free every year from the three major credit reporting agencies. I went through Trans Union to pull my report. I found several things that raised flags. They had a personal address for me listed on a road I have never lived on, a lien from the state of South Carolina that was listed twice, and two collection agencies reporting past due balances.  I submitted a request for a review on these items and within three business days I had results. The request was super simple, just click a few buttons and hit send.

The address was deleted from my report. One of the collection agencies was deleted and the other was marked as paid in full. It’s still on there, but at least it looks better. Both of the collection agency stuff was over two years old. They had just neglected to report it once it was paid off.

The liens are another story. In 2006 I worked just over the SC border in Rock Hill for a few months. The company took SC income tax out of my check per the law. I worked most of the year in NC. When it came time to file taxes I had to file for both states even though I only lived in one. My SC W2 was unclear and had all state taxes paid (NC &SC) listed but only the NC tax paid listed on my NC W2. So when I filed in SC I put down that they owed me the wrong amount and they paid me. Three years later they came back for their money and some hefty fines. I worked with their office and negotiated with them to drop the $700+ interest. I did have to pay a $400 fee which brought my total to $2150. I borrowed the money from my aunt and paid it in full.

While I was in the process of negotiating the interest, I received a phone call from another office in the same department stating that they had taken a lien out on my house. I told the guy I had been working with and he said not to worry about it, that they had not taken out the lien because I was working with him. A few years later I find out it is on my credit report not once, but twice.

Trans Union did delete one instance of the lien but the other remains. I will now have to get with SC department of revenue to get this resolved. I tried to email them but the email link on their website takes me to a page that is “not found”. I will have to call or make a trip to South Carolina. Joy.

 

 

The good news is that all of the things I removed should have raised my score some. Of course you have to pay for your score and I am not at a point where I need it just yet so I am waiting to go that route.

The Next Step

I did some research on loans from my current bank. IF I can get a loan in the amount of $16,500 at 8% interest, I would be able to pay off my car and three credit cards. I could pay the loan off in 36 months at $550/mo which is a little less than I am paying now. I would save about $5,600 in interest. All of this is assuming that I am able to get this loan. If I can though, not only would I save money, but I would be perfectly in line with my 3 year plan of having everything paid off.

Credit Cards

I keep getting offers from Capital One, who I have one of my current cards with, about being pre-approved for a cash back card. I have been just trashing these offers for about a year now. My research on finances recently, however, has led me to believe that maybe I have been too hasty. One of the cards they keep offering me has about the same interest as my current card with no annual fee. I read that you should get reward cards and then use them instead of your bank account to pay for everything. Then you use your bank account to pay the card off in full every month. You reap the rewards without any of the penalties like interest. My credit is not good enough for a mileage card yet but when it is, you better believe I will be taking full advantage of that!

 

 

It is absolutely amazing what you can learn by reading a few blog posts. Of course I followed up with my own research and now I am heading towards financial freedom. No bankruptcy, no credit counselors, just smart decisions to fix past issues and to help me with my future investments.

 

(Not) Aging Gracefully

(Not) Aging Gracefully
 

When you are a kid, birthdays are super exciting. You spend a whole year counting down to that one glorious day where you are king or queen. Birthdays weren’t huge ordeals in my house. I remember having a few parties but being a single mother of 2, my mom could not afford to treat us to such things. Usually we got a cake, a present, and our favorite meal. I’m a simple girl and that was fine by me. My favorite food and a cake? I was living large!

 

Time hasn’t changed many of the customs in my home, just the people. Now my daughter is the one making the cake and the food is usually bought by me at a restaurant of my choosing. Often times my coworkers would do a little something for me which would include a cake and card and singing if I was lucky (or unlucky depending on who was doing the singing).

 

December 10, 2013 marked my 37thbirthday and with it came unexpected feelings. For the first time in my life I realized I was getting older and no closer to finding the love of my life. I have gained a lot of weight in my adult life, looks have begun fading, and my typical cheery attitude towards life is not so cheery anymore. I have less and less to offer as time goes by and fewer prospects to chose from. The thought of growing old all alone is a scary one. Some people have the audacity to say “just be patient”. I’ve spent almost half of my life looking for Mr. Right. At what point is it acceptable to no longer be patient? At what point do you say “screw it” and quit thinking about how nice it would be to be with someone and start thinking about all the things you can do solo? I think I am close to that point now and I am trying to plan things out based on me being alone. I hope that I will not always have to be alone, but I am going to try and make the most of it.

Cruisin

244 days until we set sail.

Two years ago Keirsten and I took our first "real" vacation. I mean, we didn't just go crash at a family member's house. We took a weekend trip to Atlanta and stayed at an awesome little hotel that was old, had mismatched furniture and cool architectural details. It was in a happening neighborhood that had artsy shops,  a bakery, an art gallery, the kind of theatre you would see Rocky Horror at, and some local owned restaurants.  We went to the Georgia Aquarium and did some sight seeing. It was great but pretty expensive being that it was only a weekend trip.

Last year we split a week between Savannah and Charleston.  We went parasailing,  on a dolphin tour (which featured a National Geographic moment), went on a horse drawn history tour, toured the battleship, ghost tour, ate at Paula Dean's restaurant, toured a botanical garden, toured both towns independently,  shopped and ate at local restaurants. We had a great time and learned a bit of history too.

We decided for our next vacation that we wanted to go on a cruise. Not a cheap vacation so we are going to save up through all of 2014. To date I have already paid for the cruise. Now I have to get passports,  buy excursions, and save up spending money. We are going on a 5 night Caribbean Cruise to Nassau and Freeport in the Bahamas. We don't depart until February 2, 2015 but I am already getting excited. 

244 days until we set sail!!!

The Travel Bug

The travel bug has finally got me. If the world is our playground,  why hang out on the merry-go-round all the time?

Here are the facts: I am 37, single, mother of an almost 21 year old, make $40k+ a year, own my home, about $6k in debt not including my car and home.

My plans: pay off debt, travel, and eventually move far, far away.

The debt is an ongoing process.  My ailing cat has cost me nearly $2k in the last couple of months (yes, he is worth it!). I try to pay over my minimum amount every month. And if extra money comes in, that's what is goes towards. Today I got a check from Duke Power for $230. I immediately deposited it then went online and paid $230 on a credit card.

Travel is something I have to plan and save for. There is not a lot of extra money laying around. I put myself on a budget and in just a few months I saved over $700. I could tighten my belt a little more but I don't want to make myself miserable now just to be able to do something later.

I have been reading Nomadic Matt's blog and it has been eye opeing. It has taught me so much about travel that I never would have thought of. Between the benefits of sky miles to sleeping arrangements to food to money, it has been educational. I find myself on his blog nearly every day and will probably buy his book.

I am hoping that once I travel a bit and see more of the world than just my merry-go-round,  I will find an amazing place that speaks to me and I can settle down.  Time will tell!

The Sound of Silence

I am sitting outside my job in a fold up chair enjoying the weather. My partner in crime in on vacation this week so I am alone.

Then, something dawns on me. I am perfectly content sitting here by myself. There is a slight breeze, temps are in the 70s,  I can see and hear the planes taking off and landing at the airport, there is a cute guy mowing the grass, and trucks are coming and going. I don't need anyone to entertain me. I am enjoying all the sights and sounds even if they aren't the most beautiful. 

There are times when I don't turn on the TV or music and I just sit and think or take in my surroundings. This idea scares a lot of people.  Could be the fear of being alone.  Could be they would only hear the echo of emptiness that is their mind.

I feel bad for people that can't stand to be alone. Some people can't even go in the grocery store without having someone talk to them on the phone.  When I worked in a restaurant you would see them by themselves in the dining room on their cell phones. I am thankful that I am not one of those people.

Uncle Traveling Matt

The Great Escape

For almost two years now I have been planning my escape. Planning on moving to Nebraska, or the Caribbean,  or anywhere. I want to live a more uninhibited lifestyle that allows me to enjoy life and hopefully make friends and (possibly) find a husband in the process.

Charlotte is big. It can take 30 minutes to get across town and that is if there is no traffic. There is always traffic. With traffic and big industry comes smog. When it is hot and you look towards the sky scrapers you see that they appear hazy. Ahhh....smog. I am breathing that in. There is a lot to do in Charlotte.  Most things cost a decent amount and the things that don't aren't well advertised hence the low cost. I have lived beside the same neighbors for 10 years now and don't even know their names. 

I work 40 hours a week. I come home, cook dinner, and watch TV.  On weekends I might venture to a park or the Farmer's Market but I honestly don't do much. Life is bland and I work hard to maintain that bland life.

Longmire

I love the show Longmire.  It is set in Wyoming in a little small town that doesn't even have a stop light. Everybody knows everybody and the landscape is beautiful. This interested me. I began collecting visitors guides from the area and started researching.

Editors note: One of the quirky things about me is that I often listen to my gut. I get "feelings" about people, places, things,  and situations that are very rarely wrong. If I allowed my gut to overrule what others say,  I would be much happier.  I am also big into research.  The Web has made it so easy with just a few keystrokes. Everything is out there. You just have to learn to tell the fact from the fluff.

First I fell in love with Montanna. It is absolutely breathtaking!  But it is also cold, has a nonexistent job market and a super high cost of living. Next!

I looked at Wyoming.  It is home to part of Yellowstone.  And that sums up what really attracted me to it.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I looked at one picture of Nebraska and I felt electricity run through me. So the research began.

Nebraska

Nebraska has a decent job market. I also checked and found that my current employer has a big plant in one of the smaller towns. The town of Scottsbluff has about 15,000 residents, a low cost of living, many parks in close proximity,  shopping areas, and many chain restaurants I am familiar with. Crime is relatively low and most is vandalism (that seems to be the theme of smaller towns but it beats the violent crime rates of Charlotte). The arts scene is far more limited and may only include whatever performance the local high school is putting on but it's not like I spend all my time in the theatre now.

House Hunters

I love House Hunters and House Hunters International.  I enjoy seeing how other people live, common expectations,  realities of real estate, and what drives people's decisions in house buying.

House Hunters is based in the USA. I often say that I don't think like others and I belive that this show proves it. Lots of square footage, huge master suites with giant bathrooms and fully updated kitchens. The bigger your house is the more you have to clean. I think I could be happy with about 500sf. Most apartments are bigger than that. What's with the huge bedrooms and bathrooms? Other than sleep and, if your lucky, sex, how much time do you spend in your bedroom? I get wanting a double sink of your significant other gets ready at the same time you do every day. My ex's master bath was bigger than the two guest bedrooms. Ridiculous.  I would love an updated kitchen. I like to cook so it would be functional. 

House Hunters International is everywhere but here. Most other cultures appreciate smaller dwellings. They don't appear to be as materialistic.  I belive I could thrive in an area that A) speaks English B) has a more laid back atmosphere C) does not have a high cost of living and D) is in close proximity to groceries, restaurants,  and a park, lake or beach. I have no idea where this ideal location is so the research is ongoing.

To work in search of life

I have come to a decision.  Although I don't have a clue where I want to settle down, I do know that I don't want to just sit here anymore. I work too hard to have nothing to show for it. So I have come up with a plan.

The Great Master Plan

Pay off credit cards. This is easier said than done. I curretnly owe about $7,000. I don't have a lot of money left after the bills are paid and my cat's diabetes has put me $1000 in the hole. Not to mention his ongoing treatments. So the key here will be to cut expenses. I am going to write up a budget that is doable and stick to it.

Wait for my children to move on. My daughter is currently 20 and in no way ready to support herself. I am trying to push her to get that way. I have three animals that are my babies. The cats are 12 1/2 and 10 and the dog is 7 1/2. I have no desire to get rid of them. But as they are all relatively old, they will be passing on in the next few years. That will save me some expense (especially with the diabetic) but also free me up to not have to worry about finding pet friendly places. It also affords me time to do lots of reaearch, pay off those credit cards, and get things in order.

Find a job that allows me to explore new places while living relatively cheap. Research only gets you so far. You have to experience a place.  Cruise ships and resorts are great ways to do this as your room and board is often free. Many national parks also offer discounted prices to workers in the park. I have also found websites that can help find jobs abroad that cover most or all expenses. Again, research here will be crucial!

Getting the Support You Need

You tell your friends and family your ideas and they try to talk you out of it. They try to convince you that staying in a place you hate is the best thing for you.

I have had people try to talk me into moving to places I have no desire going just because they think that would be best. Well maybe it would be best for them. You go live your dream and I will live mine.

I am amazed at how selfish my own family is. Not just no support,  but negative support. I suppose part of it is because they will miss me but I believe a majority of it is fear of the unknown. To them I say...get over it. If you want me to find the happiness I deserve allow me to go. I may find that happiness was here all along and I just couldn't see it but without me taking the plunge I will never know.

Uncle Traveling Matt

Most kids who grew up in the 80's will recognize the reference.  Uncle Traveling Matt was a character on Fraggle Rock. He would travel around the world and send postcards to his nephew telling of his adventures. He saw far off places through the eyes of a Fraggle.  It's was educational and amusing.

Hump Day

Yup. That about sums it up.

Random Thought

I think one of the biggest problems in America is that we help each other too much. In this kind of civilization, when you continually help other people, you create a group of people who no longer want to help themselves.

All that glitters is gold

Today has been a good day.

It started with a trip to the vet. Geno weighed in at 1/2 pound more than he did three weeks ago. That is a lot of weight for a cat! And to top that, his blood sugar tested at 137. A big drop from the 470 it was last time. The vet said she has never had a cat on such a high dosage or one that took so long to regulate. We are both just thrilled that he is good to go now.

At lunch my pasta maker was delivered.  Happiness in a box!

I went to Walmart after work to pick up a pasta pot. I got an 8 quart on for $6. I stumbled across a set of 5 ramekins with lids for $24. A great price! So you can imagine my excitement when it rang up for only $15! Bad news is that silly me forgot the flour so I couldn't make pasta for dinner. I didn't really have time as I got home late so I am not terribly disappointed. 

Hit 90 today. Felt so good outside! Kept my windows down so my hair could blow.

Ribbonwalk Nature Preserve

A random fence post wrapped in barbed wire. Just the one post standing watch over the lake.

May the Fourth be with you

Happy Star Wars Day!

I cooked myself some hash this morning. Bacon, potatoes, shallots, salt, pepper, garlic, thyme, and a little butter with a fried egg on top. Yum! Googling recipes for hash is an interesting experience.  You also get results on making drugs.

It is nice out today and I don't want to spend all my time in my recliner so I am going to take Peyton to the dog park. It will get me moving and he will enjoy it. Now that he is the only dog (last year I lost Guapo to liver failure and Jersey to old age) I try to do more things with him. Next Saturday Chris and I are supposed to go hiking. I might take him with us.

I am currently on 3 dating websites.  I know, I seem as desperate as I really am. Anyways, I was " favorited" by two guys over night. The first is a cute Asian that likes full figured women but is not looking for anything serious.  The other is a white guy who is looking for "the one" but he lives in Alabama.  I've done the long distance thing before. It is hard. And expensive if you actually want to spend time with that person.

Saturday Blues

" Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money 'cause I just got paid
Now, how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way"

I hadn't blogged in a long time. Lately I really feel like I need an outlet to get everything out of my head. One thing you will see about me is that I often say exactly what I'm thinking. It's not always pretty, it can hurt people's feelings, but it is always what I think. It is the truth to me. I don't believe in being "private" or wearing a mask that only a select few are allowed to see behind. I am very open. That may scare some people but if you are in my life you will know exactly who I am. You will see inside of me without a lot of digging. I am NOT fake.

I've been a bit depressed lately. Well lately is more like a year. And depressed is more like I'm angry because I wake up every morning. I wish I would just go to sleep and stay that way. But alas, life goes on, & I am still part of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm just tired of living a life that doesn't seem to hold much happiness. I've heard you have to make your own happiness. Does anyone have a recipe for that?

My cat Geno has been diagnosed with diabetes. He's been in treatment for about 2 months now and unfortunately, he does not seem to be responding to insulin injections. He goes back to the vet on Monday. Hopefully they have some good news for us or some other treatment option. Otherwise I'll continue to watch my cat deteriorate. It is breaking my heart.

On a good note... I am excited that I have a bread maker and pasta machine on its way from Amazon. Should be here next week. Bread and pasta are two of my favorite things. I went to the used bookstore last night to look for a recipe book. I found a wonderful  one on pasta which I am going through and marking all the recipes I would like to try. I also hit the lottery when I found a book about space and a cool picture book by Stephen King about gargoyles. Who knew?

Tomorrow is Star Wars day. I am shocked I cannot find any marathons on television. I am respectfully however, wearing my C3PO shirt right now.

I think I need better friends. Maybe not better ... Maybe just ones who have more time. Two of my closest friends work nights so they're never available. And the other one, Chris, seem to do a lot of stuff with her family. Nothing wrong with that, but I get a little lonely. I think I need more friends. Ones that I can do things with and go places with. I'm not one who has a lot of friends, but a few very close friends.  So it can be difficult when they aren't available.

Until next time